I feel your breath upon my neck
You feel me kicking in your womb
The connection outlasts
The atomic blasts
Trapped safe within our tomb.

I felt his hand upon my welts
I saw her blood upon the wall
The sex at last
Has long since past
The Beatings of the Belts.

I see your face as I reflect
My wounds appear upon your face
The crushing of my mirror
Rings of the stonebrearer
Sending smoke aloud through empty space.

You hear me weep through snot and wail
I miss the man whom I knew not
The flower of Dostoevsky
The stench of Chmielewski
And you stirring in my pot.

Sweet release when it comes to bring me home
I long to hold you near
Recompense in forgiveness
And the unfinished business
Of hearing your sweet voice in my ear.

Things undigested, rejected
Lie and accumulate
Grieving undoes grief undoes face
Staring back in reflection
Endlessly in space

’Til one day there’s this split inside
From which a person cannot hide
A feeling of life’s letting go
Seems imminent and preferable
To the Show

Doctors caution “do not go there”
Family says “don’t leave us now”
An ego rules the when and how
But an authentic beating
Still has meaning to the brow

Some say some day
It will reverse
Lucky me no failure unrehearsed
With impudence and impotence
By threat it will return

Experience, strength and hope between
The causal roots of sights unseen
And ambivalence, impotence and despair
In polarity doth repeat from thinnest air

So in I go
To die again
So surgeons grow
Knives wrought to step in
With Gratitude my only weapon

Inside a battle is raging
The air is filled with smoke
You don your armor
As do I
Warriors beneath Death’s cloak

Sometimes I find upon this journey
It is no longer safe to hide
The offenses too grave
The time too short
To heal this pain inside

At sunset’s dusk an angel weeps
Holding out a bloody sword
Through tears I’m squinting
At the ocean’s glinting
Nowhere seeing a way forward

At times I am feeling
Living too long is stealing
While other lives drip slowly off the page
And I catch a glimpse
An animal trapped
Pacing in its cage

A vanquished enemy lies in darkened sand
In drying blood impossible to understand
For in Understanding’s House
Death’s cloak in transparence lifted
The fog of this uncivil war but smoke and douse

I shed my ear
Because I had two
And was hoping one of mine might assist
But as near as I recall
It wasn’t helpful at all
And sent you shrieking into morning’s mist.

If I were a mantis with ocular gifts
I’d shed one of mine because I had two
But mantid I’m not
Two eyes are my lot
And my third eye confuses me with you.

So pray now I must
You’ve left me in dust
And Fall is your season to feast
I made my selection
Through error of reflection
Confusing insect for holier beast.

Please don’t despair
I know you don’t care
For caring is not what you do
Using all of my art
I gave you my heart
Seeing me the whole time and not you.